You think mayonnaise is something you buy in a jar?

Before I explain the happenings of my class today, here are a few pictures I took of the Aix carnival on Sunday afternoon. I only stayed for a bit, as my mountain-weary legs could barely hold me upright, but I think these pictures capture the mood. It was a smaller carnival than the Venice and Nice equivalents, but it was quaint, just like Aix. The French children were dressed up like American children do at Halloween, and as I admired their costumes I revelled in the smell of fried food and the confetti that filled the air.

A float going down the Cours Mirabeau. It took me awhile to understand that it was a woman seated on a chair. When I did, I turned to Annie and said, "Oh, I get it. Its art."

Confetti floating amongst the trees, that still have yet to leaf! I keep yelling at them with my mind as I run in the park every morning, "Its April! Get leafy already!!!"

A couple strolling outside of my apartment, possibly headed to the festivities just minutes away. Such couples always make my heart smile.

Today, she was at in again. Most of the time, Natalie is reasonably outspoken and fairly flamboyant. But today she was in rare, outrageous form.

It was probably her charcoal dress, which she often wears on Wednesdays (the French often repeat outfits, living by the philosophy that it is better to buy something expensive and wear it often then buy multiple cheap pieces that don't last), but she wore today. It is a jumper-like, cotton ensemble that is the exact opposite of her personality: plain. The classrooms at IEFEE are often overheated, and as a result, every time she wears this particular gray number, her pit stains are enormous. They grow and grow throughout the class period, especially as she gets more and more heated in her explanation of intricate grammar or funny French-isms. I can depend on the gray dress when my concentration slips and I find myself daydreaming, as her pit stains always call me back, forcefully, to reality.

I was starting to notice the beginnings of a darker shade of gray under her arms today when Natalie, as she often does, burst into a random bit of very, very heavily French accented English. She likes to practice when she can, so she'll often say little phrases like, "You understand, non?!" or "This is tres, tres easy. Just think idioT!".

Today, she very timidly and un-Natalie-like said, "Programmation, that's the word in English, oui?" as she was explaining when to use the two different French tenses for the future. She meant the word program. The class burst into laughter, as seeing Natalie falter her way through English makes us feel slightly better about our stumbling French.

Natalie looked surprised, then loudly yelled, "Oh, SHIT!".

As she usually uses the French curse word equivalent of merde! we burst into more fits of giggles, as she had to have been really upset with herself to curse in, of all languages, English. Her outburst officially set the tone for the rest of the class-- ridiculouslness. Here are the highlights (translated for you, of course).

Natalie: "Charlain, you want to have a baby right when you return to the U.S., right?!" Referencing a joke she had with Charlain from last semester where Charlain mistakenly implied such a thing.
Charlain: "NATALIE! Of course not, you are embarassing me."
Natalie: "Ohhhhhh Charlain. I think you do, I think you do. This will be our little secret."

later on in the period while we were working on a grammar exercise...

Natalie: "This is a phrase parents in France often tell their children. Charlain... are you listening?!?!"
Charlain: "Natalie!"

still later in the period, same grammar exercises

Natalie: "Ah, Charlain. You would use this tense to say you were already pregnant, and this one to say you wanted to be."
Charlain (now red in the face): "NATALIE! You frustrate me to no end!"

"You Americans think mayonnaise is something you can buy in a jar?!? You are crazy. Mayonnaise takes work! It should make your wrists soar from whipping up the oil and eggs with a whisk, not from opening a jar."

"Knives. Oh my goodness I have such a fear of knives-- especially sharp Japanese knives. I once saw a man almost cut his finger off, and since then, I've been terrified of the things. When cooking at home, I wear gloves just to be safe."

"You think you hate learning grammar. I PROMISE, I hate it more. But, I suppose it will be useful for your French, so I keep teaching it to you."

I wish every class passed as quickly as today's three hours did. Natalie, oh Natalie. I wish I could express to you how much you have influenced by time here in France for the better, but I'm sure if I were to express such sentiments to my beloved Professor in her native language, I would be the next Charlain, admently denying that I was in love with turnips (called navets in French) or something like that.