THE failure

I am no longer cleansing.

Officially, as of a Subway sandwich for dinner last night. It was delicious. Heavenly. Inspired. Ham on honey wheat with lettuce, tomato, pickles, cucumber, and green peppers. I continued to chew even after I swallowed, relishing the simple joy of the everyday action.

I ate the other half for breakfast this morning ($5 footlongs). It was delicious, heavenly, and inspired all over again.

Colors are brighter, smells are more pronounced, and the sun shines brighter when you eat.

Lesson learned. Next time I say I want to do THE cleanse (which, if I'm a creature of habit, will be in about six months), yell and scream and kick "NO!". Then give me a cupcake. Or TCBY. Or a Subway sandwich.

I'm on the cleanse...

... you know? THE cleanse?

Have you seen that episode of The Office? I think it is the first episode of Season 5. Kelly is on THE cleanse-- and faints.

It is also called the lemonade diet. Basically, I drink a mixture of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water. 2 liters a day. Doesn't sound so bad-- right?

Well, I don't eat either. Nothing. Nada. Rien.

I miss chewing.

My last meal was Sunday dinner. It is now Wednesday at 2:13 and I'm proud to say I have yet to faint. Actually, I have yet to really feel like fainting.

Everytime I'm hungry, I swig my lemonade, and surprisingly, the craving subsides.

I tried THE cleanse last December. I lasted two days. I blamed the stress of studying and homework on my lack of finish. Heck, I didn't even come close, as the recommended MINIMUM is 10 days. Apparently, a person can go up to 40 days without eating no problem.

Not me. I'm not Jesus [insert obvious "duhhhhh"].

I've already lasted longer than last time, and I'm feeling better than last time. These all seem like reassuring signs to me.

But, I miss chewing.